Nov. 27, 2019
I am going to need a financial advisor.
In a few months I’m going to get a check from the US government for $5 million.
Here’s how it’s going to work. Right after I submit this article to The Algemeiner, I’m going to call the local FBI office and tell whoever picks up the phone that one of their most wanted terrorists, Ahlam Tamimi, is living in Jordan — a country which, conveniently enough, has an extradition treaty with the United States.
“I saw the wanted poster for Tamimi on the Internet,” I’ll tell them. “It says $5 million for information leading to her arrest or conviction! When do I get my money? Do you need my routing number for my bank account?”