Dec. 15, 2015

Brits are polite people. A very civilized bunch, refined by centuries of high tea and stiff upper lips. And when they apologize, they really apologize.

Last week, for example, they detained a former officer in the Israel Defense Forces, an Israeli citizen who flew into London for business. The charge was war crimes, which, according to Britain’s universal jurisdiction laws, Her Majesty’s finest are permitted to investigate should a potential suspect mosey their way.

The officer’s name, it turned out, was on a list most likely handed to unnamed British officials by unnamed pro-Palestinian activists. But the officer, it turns out, was hardly the scourge of Hamas: when IDF forces marched into battle in Gaza, he stayed behind in the homefront, overseeing his military duties there. The Brits, according to the Israeli press, apologized immediately, not for arresting an Israeli but for arresting the wrong Israeli, which is a little bit like Charles Manson apologizing to Sharon Tate’s family by saying he’d meant to get the folks next door.

It’s good to see the British Crown so vigilant in monitoring its borders. These are perilous times, and we wouldn’t want any former Israeli officers stabbing people in the Underground, beheading soldiers in the street, or setting off rucksacks full of explosives.

Right-o, chaps. Right-o.

Liel Leibovitz is a senior writer for Tablet Magazine.